The Love Poo Poo

No, I didn't see this shitty gay ass movie you little twat fucker. GROSS.

The Hills are Alive with Mother Fuckin' Music

So I don't know why I am even bothering to waste my fuckin' time on this damn movie, because if you haven't seen it then you are a dumb sack of shit. It is one of the fuckin' best movies of all time, especially if you don't want any bratty kids...there are so many of them in this damn film that it will be like fucking birth control for your bitch.

Anywho, I digress. There is this bad ass nun who is causing all sorts of shit up in the nunury. All the old nun bitches sing "How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?" You can't fucking pin down a cloud that's made of water and care bears and shit. They will bust a CAREBEAR STARE in your fuckin face. So they send her to this rich ass mother fuckers mansion in Austria or some fuckin' European shit ass place where there are mountains and sing-a-longs all over the fucking place. He has eight kids. Fucking eight kids. Who the hell has that many kids?

This Von Trap fellow blows a damn whistle to call his children to him...like fucking dogs. DOGS! They are all like, tweet tweet Brigeta, twweeeeet Leisel, tweeeet tweet twwweeet hansel, tweet Gretle, tweet Cinderella, and so on. It blows your fuckin' mind. So of course the children don't want a new fuckin' Governess..they just want their mom, but GUESS WHAT? She fucking died. So tough titties. Deal with your new Governess. SHE SINGS GOD DAMNIT!

Then they start liking her because she sings about fucking raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens and everything she fucking loves. Selfish bitch. What about the children? What about what THEY like. And making their clothes out of curtains?? They aren't POOR bitch! Then they go running through the hillside and the whole damn town singing about deer and sewing and fucking loving Nazis....oh wait.

Maria and Von Trap obviously fall in love, because who wants a hot rich bitch when you can have a singing former nun governess that looks like a dyke? And it all happens over fucking Edelweiss and a little bit during that fuckin' puppet show with the lonely goater. La de oh de la de oh de la fuckin who. So they run from the Germans and hid in a fucking cemetary behind some gravestones. Which is like the best hiding place EVER!

The Von Traps lived happily ever after and it's a fucking true story. You should go visit their castle in Austria bitches. For real.