Thank you E! for reminding us of this fucking hilarious, weird-ass movie called Napoleon Dynamite. (And fuck you E! for all your gay-ass shows like "Keeping Up With the Kardashians ... stupid twats.)
Napoleon Dynamite is this freak outcast high school kid. Like, fucking by-the-book, social-pariah, weirdo, maybe-mentally-ill-or-maybe-genius-you-can't-really-tell kinda freak outcast kid. He does shit like wear ugly t-shirts (probably from Good Will because he's definitely a povo poor kid), draw mythical creatures and play games of tether ball all by himself. (We would feel bad for him expect he's totally one of those fucking mean nerds and it's like, "no wonder nobody likes you because you are fucking mean and miserable. Not because you are the BIGGEST NERD WITH THE SMALLEST DICK EVER!") He also likes chapstick and has lots of skills.
He lives with his muff-diving Grandma who loves her llama Tina (seriously, it's really a llama, not her KD Lang lover or anything) and his creepy brother, Kip. Kip is a scrawny, four-eyed piece of shit that sits on the computer all day talking to "babes." And by babes we mean booty-ho mamas whose parents misspelled their names. No fucking shit, he ends up running off with one after she made him all "street" and shit. Enough about those wastes of life.
Napoleon meets two notable fuck heads during the movie. One is Deb, this chick who used to be really fucking cute in movies like "Corina, Corina" and "Andre the Seal" but now she's just okay-looking and playing the love interest to the nerdiest nerd of all fucking mankind. Sorry 'bout your shitty career, lady. For some reason, this irrational girl gets turned on by dudes fucking drawing ligers. Like, just draw a tiger or a lion? Why the fuck you gotta be so different??? Oh right, because it's fucking funny and we are grateful that you were there to make fun of and entertain us in high school.
The second loser is this Mexican dude named Pedro. He has a really fucking cool bike that has shocks and pegs and other weird shit that only nerds know about. Napoleon and Pedro become fast friends. Pedro decides to run for school president. Yeah, isn't that fucking hilarious, no way in hell he will win. Stupid douche bag.
Well, Napoleon saves the fucking day by doing some crazy ass dance that was only cool because it was random as shit and for some fucking reason, that dance helped Pedro become school prez. Sounds believable. But no fucking way!?!?! The dude that the movie was named after ended up being the hero!!! That's a new concept that just blows our mind. We really can't fucking believe it.
And people just need to stop wearing the Vote for Pedro shirts. He already fucking won, you stupid idiot retards.
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