Look at the Mother Fucking Kick-Ass Little People Run Shit in this Mother Fucking Movie

Willow is the best movie in the fucking world because it has fucking magic midgets and trolls throwing their shit.

I watched that fucking awesome-fest as a child and nearly shat my pants when the dogs ate apart the midwife bitch in the beginning. That whore was one fucking heroine except she sent the dikini baby down the fucking choppy river on a piece of fucking grass. What the fuck? You should be more fucking careful with the baby that's supposed to overthrow the fucking evil queen of cuntness. Shit and that was like, just the beginning.

Then the little shit head midget children all were like "Da-da, da-da we found a fuckin' baby on a fuckin' piece of grass on the fuckin' river's edge, bitch!" And they were like "Can we keep it??" and Willow is all like, "We can't keep a baby!!!" Oh, but those fuckers did the right thing and saved the magical baby from that piece of shit little grassy raft. Fuck. I can't believe how good this movie already is, shit yeah.

So, it's time for the little people village to have their annual get SHIT-FACED festival. It was a merry fucking time, people eating fire and making pigs disappear into fucking thin air. That shit is insane, fucking no doubt. BUT, the CRAZY ASS wolf dogs come back and those snarlin' beast pieces of shit are searching for something -- what the fuck are they looking for, you wonder?? YOU GOT IT. That mother fucking BABY! Holy fuck.

So the fuckin' awesome courageous pec people set off to find the dat baby's momma -- aka the whore that decided to abandon her precious piece of fucking life. They meet fuckin' normal sized dude Val Kilmer, aka Mad Martigan, who has a nasty ass grill that magically gets whiter as he romances the evil queen's daughter -- medieval criminals need to get some ass too, shit. Mad Martigan fucking helps the shit out of these little people with his skills of fucking awesomeness.

The movie has fucking three-headed monsters, talking goats, and little brownie shits that yell things like "we stole da baby while da dikini was taking a pee-pee" ... you can't fucking write shit that good. I'm still so fucking pissed I didn't lose my virginity to this shit, man. Fantasy fun for all fuckin ages, so go rent it or you might die of AIDs. That would fucking suck.