Everyone always fucking complains about high school. Like, wah wah high school sucked...wah wah I got picked on. Like SORRY I don't fucking sympathize with you b/c I was fucking popular. Yah. Suck it. So this firecrotch named Cady (who the fuck spells Katie like that...like a fucking Cadydid bug or some shit) moves to some suburban hell from Africa. No she's not black retard.
So she, Cadydid, is like damn smart, unlike the whore Lindsay Lohan that plays her. Serious whore. I've seen her vag. But I digress.....She becomes friends with this fat loser kid and ugly ass Janice. Like, really? Are those the only fucking people that would talk to the hot new girl? Doubt it. Come on Tina Fey...let's be fucking real here.
Well they come up with this fucking awesome as a steamy-pile-of-rhino-shit-with-dung-beetles-living-in-it-and-eating-the-runny-poo-
with-their-fucking-pinchers plan. Cadydid has to befriend the Plastics b/c they are the whorebag popular girls that only wear fucking pink on thursdays and can only wear pants one day a week b/c they have to be sluts and show their legs so popular boys can butter their muffins. And duh, Cadydid is like really pretty so she fucking fits in like a snap, crackle, pop.
Can you fucking tell what is going to happen? She becomes so fucking full of herself b/c like everyone copies her and worships her and she starts drinking and being a huge whorebag. She's always looking in the mirror, like oooh I'm hot, look at my firecrotch. Look at my push up bra, I'm so freckly and smokey. Rawr I could just fuck myself.
Well her plan backfired and her ugly, fat, nerdy friends get mad and lesbo Janice is so fucking pissed that she THROWS HER PAINTING AT CADY!! CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT? And then the popular girls like totally become cool and no longer friends and then there are like new fucking plastics b/c all the hot girls in high school are obviously slut bitches. I don't wanna fucking ruin the movie for you, but like there's a huge twist at the end with a fucking bus. Deep fucking shit dude.
Moral of the fucking story: Being a bitch always works and makes you fucking popular and slutty.
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